compare (kuh m-pair) – to examine (two or more objects, ideas, people, etc.) in order to note similarities and differences
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Comparison is something I’ve always struggled with. I see someone on the street and think “wow their outfit is so cool”, “they look so much more put together than I do” etc., I’m sure you know what I mean. Don’t get me wrong, I believe you can, to a certain extent, compare yourself to others in a positive way – in terms of being inspired towards positive self improvement – but this is difficult and the lines can blur very quickly. When comparing yourself to others becomes an anxiety inducing minefield, that’s when it becomes a problem. Where I start to worry about comparing myself to others is when it shifts from strangers to my friends. Sometimes I find myself feeling jealous of my friends and that’s not okay. Nobody wants a friend like that and I certainly don’t want to be that friend. It brings negativity and resentment into a friendship and it’s not a nice situation for anybody. I’ve seen first-hand how it can cause huge rifts between otherwise very close friends. I’m an English student so I spend most of my time reading and writing. When I was younger you wouldn’t catch me without a book in my hand, reading has always been a huge part of my life. Writing on the other hand is more of a recent phenomenon and that’s something I’m very conscious of. I fell in love with writing during my Leaving Cert so I’m relatively new to the game, compared to some people I know that have been writing for years. I love reading and supporting my friends’ work but I often find myself comparing my work to theirs and inevitably it is my own work that takes the brunt of the criticism. But when I actually sit back and think about this – it’s ridiculous. Two of my favourite authors are Kurt Vonnegut and Haruki Murakami – two very different authors but that doesn’t stop me from admiring them both. Do you think they compared themselves to other writers? Definitely. Do you think they felt inadequate at some point in their careers? You betcha. Did that stop them from writing amazing top-selling novels? Nope. It is ridiculous to criticise your writing based on someone else’s, owing to the simple fact that they are not you. It’s taken me a while to really understand that you can admire someone else’s work and still believe in your own. Someone else’s success doesn’t decrease the value of yours. If you follow me on any social media (or know me in real life), you’ll have noticed by now that I’m pretty obsessed with music. My mam took me to my first concert in 2008 and since then I’ve been hooked. It honestly scares me to think about the amount of money I’ve spent on concert tickets, merch, CDs and vinyls, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You may have noticed as well that a lot of my friends are musicians, but I’m not. Technically I’ve been learning guitar since I was eleven but can I play more than three songs? Nope. Not for lack of trying or lack of interest, I just don’t think it’s for me. I much rather listening to music than playing it, even though I wish that wasn’t the case sometimes. Being surrounded with so many talented musicians can be very disconcerting sometimes, even if they are some of my closest friends. I often feel a sense of inferiority or like I just have no idea what I’m talking about when it comes to music. But once again, when I sit back and think about it – that’s ridiculous. Just because I don’t play in a band, do covers on Youtube or have a music degree doesn’t mean I’m any less entitled than anyone else to appreciate and give my opinions on music. I’ve dreamed about working for a music magazine since I was twelve or thirteen years old but I never thought I could actually do it. It’s only recently that I realised, if I want to do it, I can bloody well do it. I may not be a talented musician but my strengths lie elsewhere. I can research and write a damn good essay or article when I put my mind to it. I’ve taken some pretty cool gig photos (if I do say so myself) and I’m definitely the most organised person I know. Bottom line is, it’s not always about sheer or natural talent, it’s about hard work and perseverance.
Lately, I've been stuck in somewhat of a rut. I got my first case of writer's block and really started to doubt what I've been doing. I've been attempting to write this post for over three weeks and it's only now at 1:28am on a Monday in the middle of January that my brain is finally functioning enough to allow me to finish it. At the beginning of the year, like many others, I set myself goals. In the last few days I've really been beating myself up over the fact that I haven't been achieving those goals. But you know what, maybe I needed this time to readjust, re-evaluate and refocus. When I'm struggling to write, I tend to turn to photography, which I've been doing a lot of recently. But, I've also been doubting my photography. Considering I want to pursue photography and writing as a career, you can understand how I would be a little bummed out about this. Too many times over the past few weeks I've caught myself comparing my work to other people's - people who are often more experienced than I am. It's only in the last few days that I've taken a step back and realised, I am not other people so why should I strive to imitate them? It sounds cliché and cringey but I've learned that one of the keys to success is not to compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter five - we all learn and progress at our own pace. My friends are amazing and talented and they inspire me everyday but sometimes it’s a little hard to keep up the pace, if I’m being honest - and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way. I’m not trying to be some “self help guru” here but if even one person takes something positive away from this post I’ll be happy. So make it this: remember, it’s okay to do things at your own pace, search for inspiration within yourself or within your friends but always remember, you are amazing and talented too.